For Margaret

Over the past week or so my partner Alex's mom, Margaret Nicholson, has been in the ICU at Duke with a serious respiratory disorder. A week ago we didn't think she'd last longer than a day. Needless to say, the days leading up to Christmas have been difficult.

Yesterday Margaret woke up, and has been talking up a storm ever since. Well, as big a storm as someone as intubated and heavily sedated as she has been can create. There's some delirium and funny stories I'm sure she'll appreciate later, and of course there's still a chance of regression, but I feel comfortable enough now to put into writing that it looks like she'll be okay.

Heartwarming Christmas miracles aside, Margaret is one of those people that is encouraging in her purity, and just somehow...gets it. I'm not quite sure what 'it' is, but when encountering Margaret's generosity and overall good nature, one begins to suspect she possesses some sort of deep secret that only age and a small town life can reveal.

While considering what to write in today's blog, I came across a poem that seems to somewhat describe that 'it.' I've read it a few times before, but for some reason, today it resonates deeply.

The poem is called Desiderata and was written in 1927 by Max Ehrman:

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
- Max Ehrmann

I'm sure in a few months I'll find this blog post ridiculously cheesy, as some of you may be finding today. I think for now I'll indulge in the moment, and worry about my reputation as a writer when cynicism once again sets in.